Good Letter From The Lawyers

Wonderful, the power of prayer. Received this last night at Soopakebab.

Dear Ms Lowd( REMOVE)e,

Thank you for your many, many letters. I hope this reaches you at the kebab house you referred to in your para 37. I am not sure where else to send this. You have raised many points and I will try to deal with them in order.

At a fundamental level we remain unclear as to whether you wish us to act for you purely in respect of an appeal against your conviction at Stratford for criminal harassment of Ms R(EVIL BITCH)l North, or whether you intend to pursue individual actions in law against all the named individuals on the list you enclosed which covered six sheets of A4.

In more detail, we need to know from you if would you require us to locate and identify all the individuals on that attached list. Addresses would have been helpful. For instance, at a quick glance there are several ‘C Brooker’s in the London phone book and doubtless many more nationwide. Which one did you have in mind? In addition, we are still not precisely clear as to what grounds you might have in law against a person who has not communicated with you directly and is identified only by the initial letter of his first name.

We are also unclear as to the precise grounds upon which you wish to bring actions against all the other individuals identified by more than a single initial. “Tomfoolery” is not, technically speaking, an offence in law. Neither is “blethering”: nor is “being a shrieking harridan”, or “causing me to roll my eyes to haeven”. Perhaps you could, in future correspondence, specify precise grounds for bringing either a private action, which would be a task for us, or initiating a referral to the Crown Prosecution Service, which would not.

It would also be a new departure for members of this firm to bring any action in law against persons generally believed to live on other planets. Perhaps you could, at your soonest convenience, furnish us with details of which firm, here on Earth, currently represents the Emperor of the Daleks.

Taking action against all these named persons could prove to be very time consuming, If you do intend to pursue all of them at law then we might suggest you make application to either a much larger firm than our good selves, or one with a distinctly smaller current workload. We also feel bound to point out that if, as you repeatedly say, your dozens of blogs are your defence, we remain unsure whether we can do a better job for you than you are already doing for yourself.

Finally, in the matter of professional remuneration I have consulted with our senior partners and we have agreed that only in the most exceptional of circumstances would our firm be willing to forego our fees entirely, as you request.

Yours etc,

xxxxx xxxxxxx

*** *** ***

Well! At last some progress, and some proper respect. Did you notice? He called me ‘dear’, so he probably loves me allready.

And see now, all you hate filled empty vessels! Exceptional circumstances, he said. So he accepts that my current positionis exceptioanl and that I am completely justified!
They will be working for nothing, because I am being persecuted! They are ace. A task for us he said, so they'll be right on to it.

And he accepts that my blogs are my defence and that I am a brilliant lawyer(!!!)! even more ace at it than they are (and thats pretty ace).
;-)

All you malicious gibbons will be disappeared off.

Do do do the funky gibbon

I sang as frolicked amid the milky blossom leaves yesterday. It's never sounded more appropriate. Or more lovely. Jakellywakelly and I used to while away many golden medditeranean hours singing that, our giggles echoing round a lagoons of Venice or drifting over the beautiful beaches of Florence.

More good news soon.