Unlike the malicious mobs of braying gibbons and smarmy wombats, I am an entirely different order of being. I am a polar bear.
- On warm days polar bears sprawl out on the ground or ice, sometimes on their backs with their feet in the air. They may also make temporary snow or earthen pits to lie in.
- On cold days polar bears curl up and often cover their muzzle area. During the winter, some polar bears excavate temporary dens or find natural shelters to stay warm. They may use these shelters for several months at a time.
- they can also stand on their hind feet and walk upright for short distances.
- Polar bears generally walk with a steady, lumbering gait.
- The bulky build and swinging gait cause polar bears to use more than twice as much energy to move at a given speed than most other mammals
- Polar bears are basically solitary.
- Polar bear breeding pairs remain together for one week or more, mating several times.
- Hibernating means to pass the winter in a dormant or lethargic state.
I met up with lots more rich and famous and successful people. Well, not as famous etc etc as before. I saw snogging three or four of them - a girl can lose count after a few drinkie winkies - and I told them I was a polar bear.
They all really loved me and started singing their favourite song to me:
We'll drink a drink a drink to Lily the pink a pink a pink The saviour of the human race For she invented medicinal compound Most efficacious in every case Lily the pink she turned to drink she Filled up with parafin inside And dispite her medicinal compound Sadly pickalily died Up to heaven her soul ascended For the church bells they did ring She took with her medicinal compound Hark the herald angels sing
This is not an invitation for Special Branch and the Secret Services to dress up in a bear costume and follow me. I know their tricks. I watch Spooks. They can't fool me.
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