Since I am just mooching (I don't have a warrant out for my arrest and obviously, I am still exhausted - I couldn't actually go INTO court, you see - I have a fear of doors too) - I felt that I should inform you of the following. Oh, before I do, I should also say that I have NOT broken multiple bail conditions (I wasn't aware of them) and also, I haven't ever been to prison before for offences of harassment - no, certainly not.
Anyway - I am going to sue you for plagiarism. And you, "malicious harasser", I can see you replied to the original poster - all of you are forming a mob against a defenceless but beautiful researcher creating research that is of too great a beauty to be read. I am sure my readers will appreciate that if they were to read it, they could not truly, deeply appreciate it. I cannot reveal it to the world - it is too beautiful for the likes of malicious saboteurs who will only engage in malice and sabotage the moment they get a sniff of it. What empty lives they lead!
I have used "words" before myself. Last night I met a Mancunian copyright lawyer (I think that’s what he said), casually dressed in a hooded top (but he did not fool me, I know brilliant minds when we meet like ships in the night – we recognise that spark, so rare, so fleeting), who said he hated the police too!
I met him in a pub, and Chas n Dave were performing one of those songs so beloved of the dear old East Enders. After a good knees-up, we both agreed we would fight for of those restless poor souls that were taken away from our dreams, mere flickering candles, carpets pulled away from our hearts and minds.
He told me that I have a strong case against you – and my case is this.
By the very dint that you are using "words" in your writing, you are clearly jealous and aping my style, you malicious gibbon. I am assured we can take you to the cleaners. He was very kind, giving me a "no win no fee" deal so long as I obliged his customer base. It seems a great deal to me - I have upgraded from stairwell to dosshouse.
In fact, I think there is space enough there for my Louis IX wardrobe filled to the gills with the elegant Italian ballgowns bought for me by the many men who have fallen at my feet over the years.
I made friends today with some kindly people from Brittany – I do love the South of France – what an accent – “mais oui!” etc. I speak French. What lovely people!
Anyway, I have written to Tony Blair and after repeated phone messages left on a secretary’s ansaphone in Whitehall, I have been sent an email which I cannot reveal since it might affect the high profile court case which I expect to be optioned for a Hollywood film (currently in talks with Paramount) - it includes a telephone number, but I am sure my readers will respect that this is of utmost secrecy. I am glad that the country is behind me in exposing these dreadful, conniving orangutans.
I also herewith, and on this matter hereby (this is legal language) warn you not to reproduce works of art, because if you do, you are clearly in breach of copyright - not of the artwork, but because I sometimes post images of paintings on my website. As hitherto previously stated in correspondence (see, officially legal) you have been hitherto informed that this is my sole right. If you attempt, in any kind of simian-like manner, to copy me by use of words and pictures - then J'accuse (I speak French, you know) you of being jealous and I will expose you. My personal stylist told me that I can expect this kind of thing, being as beautiful and brilliant as I am.
You are just a sabotaging baboon, with your kangaroo court of lemmings you belong in the doghouse.
Readers, less of the comments telling me that I am the spirit incarnate of Shakespeare, Michaelangelo (sic), etc. You do make me blush! I am rather modest really, given my obvious brilliance, which of course I cannot prove for fear of being sabotaged by the malicious chimpanzees.
**** UPDATE TO MY BEAUTIFUL READERS ****
Hmm, Tony Blair hasn't written back. I feel very let down.
Back to my new case, which I am confident is going to shake the foundations of this country to its very core. The institutions and "government" behind this country will have no idea what hit them. In fact, I will also take the architects blueprint that they schemingly devised, too. I told my last prison warden I would do this too which he found amusing – I like his enthusiasm but I don’t think he sees my passion – he is just an amateur and one of the many sycophants trying to please me – who can blame him!
Anyway - Tony Blair is just a henchman to this “country” that just seeks to sabotage me. He is in cahoots with West Lothian Police, I am sure of it.
I have set up a blog in defence, just a giggle for my readers, entitled “I am going to firebomb 10 Downing Street”. It is just a way for me to relieve the awful stress that all these terrible people have caused for me. It is hard being so brilliant, and so misunderstood.
Readers – my word! 12 Anonymous postings in the last 15 minutes! I can’t keep up with this activity – how many hands do I have – I am not an octopus – let me reply to myself with a little more time, ok?
Hang on – I have a new customer – back soon.
It would have been quite enough having to deal with the Special Branch PR Unit on it's own. But of course I wouldn't have had to. Exactly what Special Branch officials opposed to my research needed, was for a small pack of stalking abusers to make false allegations about me which they could massively use as a lever to discredit me. In fact, they were fairly desperate for anything to use. And The Met are attempting to do exactly this.
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