A Peaceful Interlude

London has such kindness hidden away in it's deepest corners, places that people from North London are unaware of. I'm often amazed about how much goodwill is given to me, perhaps it balances the maliciousness that those vindictive little people, jealous of my secret research and the way men are drawn to me.

No matter. I've found a way to fight these vicious publicity seeking attention whores. I'm going to beat them at their own game. Thinking about the way everyone is plotting against me, including a Judge, the internet, Special Branch and the Police and the man in the off licence who refused to give me credit - something he should have done, but he maliciously tried to sabotage my research in the only way he knew how - by trying to deprive me of my muse. It didn't work; it never does for I always find my muse.

Sitting drinking a cool pint of Gin, and reflecting on my story it suddenly hit me in a moment of divine inspiration. I could get back at the baying mob, I could fight back against these publicity seeking attention whores.

I will make a film of my story.

In a moment of pure karma I was recounting my struggle against illegal wrongdoing and official corruption and harassment to some men in a pub and when I mentioned making a film they suddenly woke up.

"We are film producers", they said. What fortune I thought. They make serious films, not for today's distracted youth or children. They make this clear on their business cards by their name "Whitechapel Adult Film Company". Just the sort of people I need. When I told them that I was also homeless because of police corruption, they looked at each other and beamed the most gorgeous and precious smiles at me. They were going to help me out and start on my film straight away.

After a few more drinks I returned to their prestigious studio with them. They were instinctive people who knew that I was a poetic spirit and a walker in the world of metaphor and so they told me of their opening scene while they arranged the bed in the studio.

The film opens with me, just before the last day of my victorious appeal. In the first scene I am lying in naked in a bath (symbolising my innocence and the cleanliness of my research) when the door opens and my harassers enter without knocking or asking and then begin to abuse me cruelly - this is a metaphor of how vulnerable me has been abused in the real world - and then I am left tied to a bed - as this is how I feel their corruption and legal abuse has left me, before an old man, dressed as a judge, comes to me and gives me the love that I've been searching for before releasing me. This all shows on a very deep level the philosophical truth of the mobs' vindictive behaviour and it will affect people deeply.

In the final scene the Judge himself insists on reading my 800 page blog of evidence into the official court record, because he says it is the most beautiful thing he has ever read, before releasing me and creating a special offence of being malicious to a researcher and locking the London Woman up for ever. The Executive Produces says we will be filming that scene later.

It's very exciting, for once, to be in the middle of a real drama. The Executive Producer has just brought in what looks like a rugby team and has just offered me a 'trade secret'; a special drink to relax me and let my creative juices flow.

Readers, the next time you see me I will be on the big screen! The London woman would never make a film like this. that shows how tiny her mind is, but I will be a star and she will curl up in a ball of vindictive maliciousness.

Roll! Cameras! Action!