I've been thinking about why I am plagued by so many nonentities and malingering idiots who just can't get it into their thick heads just how special I am and how my research is the best research ever conducted ever. I feel an affinity with Gallileo, only he could recognise my unique suffering. I'm sure I can feel his spirit weeping in the Heavens for what has befallen me.
The problem is quite simple. This blog's readers are just not clever enough - by a long way - to be able to form an educated opinion about my beautiful work or the divine genius of my thesis, what I wrote.
I will spell something out for very persistently stupid though. The only that reason I was found guilty of anything, was because I was not there, neither were my defence counsel, and wrongdoing police were. Wrongdoing police withheld evidence. This means the case is going to be re-tried. That means, we start all over again. The whole thing. Nothing is concluded yet. That also means, that every stupid malicious comment you send to this beautiful blog, every stupid thing you publish, will go in evidence against you.
I had a perfect defence, my 800 page blog. Indeed my defence was so perfect, I felt that the court was too impure a place to announce my work to the world. That's why I didn't turn up, the idea of a dusty courtroom as a place to debut my gorgeous research and my wonderous blog, it was just undignified.
I am not guilty of anything, only the unworthy court declared me guilty - probably out of embarrasment of seeing just how perfect my defence would be.
Instead every one of my readers is guilty of harassment and sabotage and I will see you all rot in prison when I am made Queen of England. My rightful place. Then you will all get what you all deserve for doubting me, for harassing me and for not being big and clever enough to read my precious, precious words.
Off with their heads!
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
when you're perfect in every way.
I can't wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better looking each day.
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a woman.
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
but I'm doing the best that I can.
This song keeps circling my brain, soothing my imagination
and fondling my norks.
Such peace of mind I have, no wonder the mad oafs plaguing me are
so jealous.
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