Friday, 5 October 2007

The Tale of Twiddle and Twaddle


Among my many talents, or at least the talents others ascribe to little old me, there are those that suggest the meerest hint of a possibility that I may have a certain gift, an ability, a je ne sais quoi for language, communication and a gentle sweet nature that is able to communicate and write in a very writerly way. I feel humbled whenever anyone suggests this. To bear the burden of such a gift and shoulder the immense responsibility implied by being touched by the Gods. To have a living, blessed talent given by my sweet Jesus.

I'm touched. Many do say that, often improringly, looking deep into my soul as if there was a special message they were trying to pass, one that was only meant for me, that only I could properly understand.

I wish these fools would stop wasting my time. I've got my research to do and these weak willed wallabies are just too demanding, too draining.

I am being criticised for my lack of profundity and elaboration, I observe.
This is a light, gentle, sweet and sensitive blog, where I express my lightest thoughts. It's not going to be any deeper, or more complex than it is. True, I have picked up some good expression and linguistic tools along the way. And yes. I know how to use them. If only you little people could understand me. It must be so hard for you, like little voles gazing up at a mountain. You can make out the lowlands of my lovelyness, the gentle slopes of my scholaly intellect, the rich alpine pastures of my pernacity, but you will never climb to the top. Even though many men have mounted me there are but few who have planted their flag on my summit.

Get. Used. To. It.

There has been some screeching, cackling and foul odours in that hate filled stalker blogg recently. Really, this is so beneath me, but listen children, Mother is talking. Please don't leave any helpful comments over there. I never read it. I know that I have many sweet supporters who want to support me in a supportive way, but this is not the answer. you do not have my permission. In fact, my lawyers are going to ban everyone from the internet who even thinks about going to that dreary place.

As a leading medical expert with a degree in psychopathy, I can also tell you that visiting that vile, vindictive and maliciously evil hate filled stalker blogg can give you a personality disorder. Probably a neurotic one to boot.

Stay here. This is a lovely place where unicorns come to dance and rainbows chitter chatter with faries and butterflies. That's why this is such a gentle blogg. A lovely blogg. I've had thousands of letters from people telling me not to change a thing, that my research is groundbreaking and focussed and just almost too beautifully written. I've printed them out and told my lawyers to let these people live.

I'm not self obsessed. I've thought about this alot.