Phew what a scorcher! I've had the ultra-serious flu virus that was downloaded by a malicious saboteur to my hard drive. This was to be expected. Everyone has had it and all are suffering, but not as much as me, by all accounts. It's hit me harder than anyone else and nobody has sufferred like me.
I had steam coming from my ears - just like when I'm blogging! I was chuntering, hoovering, pottering, whirring, clunking, clanking, nibbling, norking, contrafabulating and defibrillating, wibbling and warbling away like an old teapot coming to the boil.
My friends were frightened - (did I tell you I had friends? I must have done because I've got so many, almost invariably wealthy) as the thought of losing one of their newest and dearest aquaintances would have left them distraught and full of the sorrows of what might have been.
They put me in a bath of freezing water - they seemed to be overcome by hysterical crying and I saw them biting their lips and trembling as they struggled to conceal their emotions as they tipped me into the freezing water. As soon as I hit the icy water they all collapsed on the floor crying and sobbing in sympathy for me. I could hear their pitiful howls as I lay in the water. What a gift I must have to affect so many people so deeply.
I'm reminded of poor Natasha (click), only I can truly sense her suffering. As soon as I am better I will put my criminal research skills to the task of discovering her killer. I can't say much now, but I'm sure I'll have the villan 'banged up' and put behind bars as soon as I can say collywobbles.
I have to state clearly - for there are malicious saboteurs and spreaders of false libel around that I WAS NOT put into the bath because of a drug overdose. Not.At.All.
Some good news, I've been crying like a wounded banshee with tears blub blubbing down my ugly puffed up face. Poor Me I cried over and over again. Poor little me! Poor sweet gentle me! I must have looked like gentle Maddie. I told my friends this and they were shocked at how much I suffer.
I cried and cried over my suffering that is greater than anyone else's. I cried for days. without stopping.
Also some good news on the case front. I didn't turn up for a hearing so it's going to be held later. Or something. It's not important compared to the narrow escape from the jaws of death I've just experienced in all it's pain and suffering and despair and i'm actually feeling pretty bad about all of this, don't you know. I'm just glad that I'm not the person to complain. not me. i just pick myself up and carry on. That's the mark of a true researcher.
I am left with no energy and just a yawning emptyness. A huge sense of nothingness.
That's how to get rid of a smelly new year and all the smelly people.
Happy New Year.
It would have been quite enough having to deal with the Special Branch PR Unit on it's own. But of course I wouldn't have had to. Exactly what Special Branch officials opposed to my research needed, was for a small pack of stalking abusers to make false allegations about me which they could massively use as a lever to discredit me. In fact, they were fairly desperate for anything to use. And The Met are attempting to do exactly this.
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